Little Red Riding Hood (Retired)

You may think you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood. But maybe not.

True, a young girl with a scarlet cape and a basket of goodies wanders off the path on the way to Grandma’s house. And, yes, she meets a Big Bad Wolf who tricks her into surrendering Grandma’s address. The wolf dashes ahead; eats Grandma; slaps on Grandma’s bonnet; and jumps into Grandma’s bed to await the arrival of young Red.

"My, what big ears you have, Grandma!" the wary girl remarks. "The better to hear you with, my dear" the sly wolf replies in his best crackly Grandma voice. "My, what sharp teeth you have, Grandma!" observes the frightened girl. The wolf attack: "The better to EAT you with, my dear!"

Now, some folks say that the wicked wolf ate poor Little Red Riding Hood and that was the end of the story. Or you may have heard that a handsome Woodsman happened by just in time to hear the girls screams, and he chopped up the wolf with his ax and rescued our heroine. Not true. We at OHM know the real story. Our girl didn’t need a man to save her, nor was she really fooled by Wolfie’s charade. Our girl had a knife in that sweet basket of treats, and she skinned that Big Bad Wolf faster than he could say "I’ll huff and I’ll puff." Now that’s what we call stepping up female empowerment.

Perhaps now we should call her Little Red Wolfslayer ... You go, girl!